Monday, August 18, 2014

Voyage


 
     Yell Sound, Shetland by R. A. D. Stainforth


Climb aboard!
We sail away today,
over oceans deep and wild and wide,
out, and out, league after league toward the horizon
under endless slate grey skies, rain-kissed,                                  
cloud-tumbled, sun-pierced or
star-riddled.
And all we know recedes,
all the firm, green predictable things
recede as we traverse over oceans toward
the strange terrain of dream and fable.
Unknown wonders await;
climb aboard!


The picture is complements of Magpie Tales.  The form is from Imaginary Garden w/ Real ToadsIn its simplest form, the Triquain consists of seven lines, with syllables counted in multiples of 3.
3 - 6 - 9 - 12 - 9 - 6 - 3
The trick thereafter is in deciding how many of these stanzas you want to use.  There are several described, and I chose one called   Triquain Swirl.  This is created by joining the stanzas together on the seventh line, eliminating the second 3 syllable line and the space between stanzas. The finished stanza will stand at 13 lines and may be repeated thereafter.
3 - 6 - 9 - 12 - 9 - 6 - 3 - 6 - 9 - 12 - 9 - 6 - 3 
Also, one can include an element of repetition in the Swirl by taking a 3 syllable word or phrase from one of the longer lines and using it as the final 3 syllable line of the stanza or at the bridge of the swirl. 



31 comments:

  1. And like Helen's, Your form is also Perfect!
    I've missed your talented ways Mary Bach.....G

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  2. Well, I haven't said this in a while but.....YAHTZEE!!!!!

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  3. Galen!!!! Hey I have missed you too! ALLONS Y!

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  4. Oh this one was a cheerful one.. really enjoyed the dancing on the waves :-)

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  5. Thank you Bjorn. Now I want to go on a trip!

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  6. Dream & Fable ahoy!

    ALOHA from Honolulu
    ComfortSpiral
    =^..^= . <3 . >< } } (°>

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    1. Thank you Cloudia...I love to sail to Hawaii one day!

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  7. Sure, I would love to, smiles ~ How I wish to escape from the endless grey slate sky ~

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  8. Never know where the sea will lead, aboard we climb

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  9. And all we know recedes... WONDERFUL! Love and Light, S

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  10. This is great and I am ready to come aboard!!

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  11. It sounds like a wonderful adventure!!

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  12. Sounds like a great trip to me - quite an adventure and it read beautifully, Mary.
    I was very interested in the technical explanation of how you wrote it - but alas a little over my head - it just read so nicely to me. Glad you are back ~ Eddie

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  13. Skipping the waters can be most tempting. Like it Other Mary!

    Hank

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  14. love this wander-lust for the dream-land...nice play on the form too :)

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  15. This is wonderful, Mary. Your choice of subject id perfect for the form, and the wave-like effect on the page. Your lines flow so effortlessly along and great choice of 'star-riddled' for the bridging word. That is so descriptive.

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  16. This is like a calling to all alive to truly live....beautiful Mary!

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  17. A call to adventure! Beautifully penned. Lovely imagery. :)

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  18. Women travel this sea so effortlessly , for men , more often than not , only when the ship sinks unexpectedly ...lament

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  19. I love, "the firm, green predictable things recede". That says it all for me. To be out on the water with nothing predictable on the horizon. Scary yet exhilarating.

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  20. Thanks everyone. I've visited all you and read your responses, even though I fell behind answering your comments here. I really do appreciate your visits and comments though. Happy writing to you all!

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  21. Sounds like a wonderful adventure ..I'm onboard!

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  22. Dream and fable...oh yes...I'm coming too...

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  23. Thanks you ladies! Welcome aboard!

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  24. I generally suck at those form kinds of verse, but you rock it, Other Mary!!

    So, an Alaskan cruise? Mediterreanean? (or however you spell that.) And we have an awesome suite with a grand balcony on the ship, right?? With room service for breakfast, if desired!! Setting a course for adventure.... :)

    xoox

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  25. Hey Jannie! And you're the guest of honor - you betcha! Thanks so much, it's good to 'see' you again.

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