Riding:
Black leather gloves
Wrap around my fingers
My fingers wrap around the reins
I am drawn to the dangerous, dark horse
On top and in control of all
That power beneath me
Oh, the thrill of
Riding
Black leather gloves
Wrap around my fingers
My fingers wrap around the reins
I am drawn to the dangerous, dark horse
On top and in control of all
That power beneath me
Oh, the thrill of
Riding
I have used the Rictameter form here, which is composed of 9 lines. The lines have a set number of syllables, 2-4-6-8-10-8-6-4-2, and the first and last word are the same.
A unique form cleverly composed. It imposed a certain kind of discipline. Good riding. Very well done!
ReplyDeleteVery creative. Excellent
ReplyDeleteVery nice, Mary!
ReplyDeleteI lived it very much!
ReplyDeleteYou describe the thrill of riding beautifully!
ReplyDeleteYes, I too could have gone somewhere like that-
ReplyDeleteand have; don't care for wearing gloves unless I have to...Thanks!
Delicious. Dark, like chocolate.
ReplyDeletelovely
ReplyDeleteThank you all! Great prompt, again, Tess.
ReplyDeleteAn interesting form, and well made use of here. I hate to carp, but I think you mean "reins" in line 4?
ReplyDeleteWonderful, make we want to ride again....nice Magpie...bkm
ReplyDeleteDoctor - You are so write..er...right. I'll chaange it. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteBKM - Thank you. It's been awhle for me too.
Love Rictameter, and this is a good one... do you prefer them centre-aligned? I think they lok goo both ways, and give a different feel to the actual poem depending which you choose. Nicely done here Mary
ReplyDeleteWarmest Salad
Thanks Luke. I like the center-alignd on this one in particular. You're right the form reinforces, or emphasizes, the content and in the two I have done the center-aligned seems to fit better.
ReplyDeleteHappy New Year Luke! I'm glad I found your Salad!
A grand magpie from
ReplyDeleteBaroness Rictameter;
and a terrific ride,
giving us the smell
of stallion and tack,
the power between your
thighs, like riding a Harley,
like drag racing. You have
created something both dark
and sensual. Men have always
wondered why young girls and
women love to ride so much.
Thanks Glenn. lol, so now you have a little insight. Your take on the Magpie was interesting too. ;-)
ReplyDeleteNice work Mary, and Glenn, what took you so long?? :-)
ReplyDeleteThanks Stafford. Cheers.
ReplyDeleteThanks Mary... hey if you can believe it, there have been 28 Octains written now, plus a High Octain (that's the double, like you did) me and a friend are co-writing- me taking her content and adding a bit as I versify it. I want to put them all up with a picture on the Poetry Group I run on using the Facebook Groups platform - mainly we use the discussion board to post our poetry and and comment on each others, the main point being that we give honest feedback/constructive crit... something I find sorely lacking in other places... ow can I learn if everyone just tells me how nice my poems are all the time? An honest opinion is the greatest gift a peer can give... (with tact, obviously).. but you have to be ready to take the crit, not be too 'precious' abou your poems, people get stung that way because they are only used to receiving praise and love the ego-stroke. Sure doesn't help them grow as a poet. Probably make it sound harsher than it is - we praise to high Heaven a good poem, and aspects of a piece that are good. It's a nice vibe, and not everyone gives 'crit'. Firstly I'm wondering do you mind `if I include yours when I post them all up with a picture in our gallery, and secondly, would you like to join? I only invite people I feel would benefit/might be looking for a neutral environment where they can hone their writing/are of a level of proficiency where they would not find it difficult to keep up (not that we are snobby; we take anyone who requests; the novice poets that join either take the crit, work hard and improve very quickly - delightful to see), or feel in over their head and stop posting. Would love to have you onboard - if you're interested, here's the link - just request to join and one of the admins will confirm you:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=107480952604804
looks like that URL didn't come out as a hyperlink proper, you can copy and paste into your browser bar or find the link to the Group on my blogroll (WordSalad WorthClicking) x
ReplyDeleteYes, you may post my Octain/High Octain. And, yes I would like to join. Thank you for asking me! Some (gentle) criticism would be a big help. There are times too, when I would like to ask questions, but the blog comments don't really seem like the place for that. In fact, I wonder if I should answer you anywhere else other than here. Thanks again!
ReplyDeletelove the shape, you are super creative..
ReplyDeleteHappy 2011.
Thank you so much Jingle! Happy New Year to you as well :o)
ReplyDeleteI love that you associated this with riding. I've always wanted to learn, but never had the opportunity to do it. This is a very interesting form of poetry - simple yet challenging. Lovely magpie!
ReplyDeleteThank you thebeatofmydrum. I went through a lot of differnet thoughts before I settled on this. Glad you like it.
ReplyDeleteOoh, I like this one, quite the innuendo going on here. Rather steamy, the way I'm reading it!!
ReplyDelete