Monday, September 12, 2011

Just a Little Difference












Abandoned by my muse, I decided to start small: Haiku.
And as I was playing around with words, I noticed what a big difference just one small word can make. I'll show you what I mean:


Held together by
nothing but surface tension
I struggle forward


And now:


Held together by
nothing but surface tension
we struggle forward

This is up at the Poets United Poetry Pantry.  Click on th title to go there.  You should go there; it's an amazing place.




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21 comments:

  1. BubbaSeptember 12, 2011 at 9:00 AM

    Haiku is only small in size. Nice work, Mary!

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  2. Other MarySeptember 12, 2011 at 9:08 AM

    Thanks Eric! Wow, you're fast!

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  3. AnonymousSeptember 12, 2011 at 1:20 PM

    struggling forward is part of life.
    well done Haiku.

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  4. Kevin RouthSeptember 12, 2011 at 1:32 PM

    I saw your link on the Poets United site. I love this Haiku!

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  5. Stafford RaySeptember 12, 2011 at 2:09 PM

    Yes, the substitution of 'we' for 'I' changes the whole purpose of the expression from introspection to a declaration. Inward to outward. But, either way they are pertinent to your mood as you probably feel both. (how deep is that! haha.)

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  6. Chronicles of IllusionsSeptember 12, 2011 at 4:36 PM

    incredible how one word can alter perception :)

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  7. Eileen T O'Neill .....September 12, 2011 at 4:52 PM

    Mary,

    A strong Haiku, born from resolve!

    Best wishes, Eileen

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  8. Other MarySeptember 12, 2011 at 5:04 PM

    Jingle - Thank you! Good to 'see' you again.

    Krouth - Thanks! Glad you stopped by!

    Stafford - It's been awhile! Good of you to stop in. :o) ...and verrry deep comment, lol

    Jo - Thank you.

    Eileen - Thanks - best wishes to you as well.

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  9. Ed PilollaSeptember 12, 2011 at 7:52 PM

    they indeed mean two different things. good read.

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  10. Other MarySeptember 12, 2011 at 8:43 PM

    Ed - Thank you!

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  11. JinksySeptember 14, 2011 at 9:01 AM

    Together is the way to go...

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  12. Ginny BrannanSeptember 15, 2011 at 9:07 AM

    A feeling of 'aloneness' vs. 'shared' goals. Such different meanings can be read into both. Some food for thought, thanks for sharing both, Mary.

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  13. Other MarySeptember 16, 2011 at 8:51 AM

    Thanks Ginny.

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  14. G-ManSeptember 16, 2011 at 9:46 AM

    Mary...
    Sometimes small is Good!

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  15. Brian MillerSeptember 16, 2011 at 12:09 PM

    the difference between i and we is huge...nicely done...and hope your muse finds you ready...

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  16. JinksySeptember 16, 2011 at 12:32 PM

    I came back to leave another comment, as you don't seem to have an email contact enabled, and I wanted to answer your question.
    My 55 was written as prose, mostly to make the point that, in doing so, there need be no loss of poetic rhythm. The fact that you queried it, seems to show you recognised the poetic content inherent in the words, anyway! Thank you!

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  17. AnonymousSeptember 17, 2011 at 10:16 AM

    i and we does make such a difference. amazing haiku so short but sweet.

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  18. Other MarySeptember 17, 2011 at 12:56 PM

    G-Man - Thanks! Glad you stopped by.

    Brian - Thank you Brian. I'm ready to put her mug on a milk carton about now!

    Jinksy - Thanks for the answer. The words were very poetic, which is why I asked.

    Fallenelegy - Thank you for stopping in, and for the very kind comment. Cheers!

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  19. DeborahSeptember 17, 2011 at 2:40 PM

    These are just brilliant, like the tip of two icebergs! Wonderfully done.

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  20. OliviaSeptember 18, 2011 at 1:14 AM

    awesome indeed!!!!
    hugs xo

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  21. Other MarySeptember 19, 2011 at 1:45 PM

    Deborah - Thanks! I'll have something new soon - promise!

    Olivia - Thank you, hugs to you too sweetie!

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