Monday, September 12, 2011

Just a Little Difference












Abandoned by my muse, I decided to start small: Haiku.
And as I was playing around with words, I noticed what a big difference just one small word can make. I'll show you what I mean:


Held together by
nothing but surface tension
I struggle forward


And now:


Held together by
nothing but surface tension
we struggle forward


This is up at the Poets United Poetry Pantry.  Click on th title to go there.  You should go there; it's an amazing place.




21 comments:

  1. Haiku is only small in size. Nice work, Mary!

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  2. struggling forward is part of life.
    well done Haiku.

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  3. I saw your link on the Poets United site. I love this Haiku!

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  4. Yes, the substitution of 'we' for 'I' changes the whole purpose of the expression from introspection to a declaration. Inward to outward. But, either way they are pertinent to your mood as you probably feel both. (how deep is that! haha.)

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  5. incredible how one word can alter perception :)

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  6. Mary,

    A strong Haiku, born from resolve!

    Best wishes, Eileen

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  7. Jingle - Thank you! Good to 'see' you again.

    Krouth - Thanks! Glad you stopped by!

    Stafford - It's been awhile! Good of you to stop in. :o) ...and verrry deep comment, lol

    Jo - Thank you.

    Eileen - Thanks - best wishes to you as well.

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  8. they indeed mean two different things. good read.

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  9. A feeling of 'aloneness' vs. 'shared' goals. Such different meanings can be read into both. Some food for thought, thanks for sharing both, Mary.

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  10. Mary...
    Sometimes small is Good!

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  11. the difference between i and we is huge...nicely done...and hope your muse finds you ready...

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  12. I came back to leave another comment, as you don't seem to have an email contact enabled, and I wanted to answer your question.
    My 55 was written as prose, mostly to make the point that, in doing so, there need be no loss of poetic rhythm. The fact that you queried it, seems to show you recognised the poetic content inherent in the words, anyway! Thank you!

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  13. i and we does make such a difference. amazing haiku so short but sweet.

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  14. G-Man - Thanks! Glad you stopped by.

    Brian - Thank you Brian. I'm ready to put her mug on a milk carton about now!

    Jinksy - Thanks for the answer. The words were very poetic, which is why I asked.

    Fallenelegy - Thank you for stopping in, and for the very kind comment. Cheers!

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  15. These are just brilliant, like the tip of two icebergs! Wonderfully done.

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  16. Deborah - Thanks! I'll have something new soon - promise!

    Olivia - Thank you, hugs to you too sweetie!

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