Sunday, March 4, 2012

Lost and Top 10


You look at me and I am lost,
lost in the labyrinth of your eyes.
Disheveled, stumbling, like I’m sauced
you look at me and I am lost;
I’m barefoot, standing in the frost,
your cougar instincts, my demise.
You look at me and I am lost,
lost in the labyrinth of your eyes.

Image by Sarolta Ban

The poetic form above is a triolet, which is is eight lines with only two rhymes used throughout. The first line is repeated in the fourth and seventh lines; the second line is repeated in the final line; and only the first two end-words are used to complete the tight rhyme scheme. Thus: ABaAabAB, where capital letters indicate repeated lines.  Meter, is most commonly 8 beats per line.

So, again I started a Top 10 List of Silly or Inappropriate Responses which I will share with (or inflict on) you:

1. She's larger than life
2. Poor little man, he never stood a chance.
3. I can see right through you!
4. LIAR!
5. ‘Come into my parlor’, said the spider to the fly.
6. You've been a very. naughty. boy...
7. Oh oh, she’s giving me ‘the look’ again!
8. The 'EYES' have it.
9. Maybe it's Maybelline!
10. Don't shoot until you see the whites of her eyes.

This an other responses can be found atThe Mag.  It's also at dVerse.  Go on, they're worth a look.


66 comments:

  1. Loved this Mary, I particularly like no. 9, she does look like an ad for eye products:)

    ReplyDelete
  2. LOL I can see all those responses in her eyes
    Although I would run for she looks like she would be delighted if someone dies.

    ReplyDelete
  3. the labyrinth of the eyes...i know that feeling and not a bad place to be lost...hers are big enough someone could certainly fall in and not find their way out for days...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol, yes...big labyrinth...tall hedges ;-)

      Delete
  4. Lovely triolet, Mary... and thanks for the smiles w/ the top 10 list.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Laurie. I go through something like that top 10 list with nearly even prompt, but I don't always post them. Glad you got a chuckle.

      Delete
  5. But, oh...what a place to be lost!

    I loved this!
    :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. very nice triolet, Mary

    "Objects in Mirror are Larger Than They Appear"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Charlie, and hahaha - good one!

      Delete
  7. Cool ! cougarish indeed- I like your take. thanks.

    ReplyDelete
  8. "Disheveled, tipsy, like I'm sauced"

    How poetic is that?!! Love it Mary, only you could come up with something so clever and make it work!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol, thanks Ginny. I wondered about using 'sauced'

      Delete
  9. I like this! And your list is very cute too. :)

    ReplyDelete
  10. So, what I want to know is: did you reject all 10 silly responses before you finally wrote that very appropriate poem?
    Well done, Mary!
    K

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol Kay - here is my secret...I thought of about 4 of the silly responses, plus a couple serious thoughts, then did the actual poem, and went back and added enough silly responses to make 10! lol, that's my method most weeks. :o)

      Delete
  11. Very good poem Mary, I dont know how (or why) you do all the defferent styles but you do them well. I pretty much stick with free form. Having tried the "form" poems I found I can do creadably well, I just don't like it.

    Wander

    Funny thing, this week I used a form this week....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Wander. I find that I use a different process with the formal verse vs. free verse. And I think it's good to work all those different creative muscles. I end up surprising myself and being more creative when I have the boundaries of rhyme and meter to deal with.

      Delete
    2. Thanks for the very nice complement and the follow!

      Delete
  12. Very nice, and the Top Ten list is hilarious... You also reminded me that I need to get on with a poetry form post for Jingle for this Thursday... *sigh* But I really enjoyed the read, and the form, and the top 10!!!

    ReplyDelete
  13. The triolet is one of my favourite forms and this one appears effortless (although I know it isn't). Love the rhyming of "sauced" with "lost". That's such a great word, "sauced"!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol, thanks Kat. As I mentioned on another comment, I wasn't sure if that was a good choice or not. Glad I went with it now.

      Delete
  14. The triolet is one of my favourite forms and this one appears effortless (although I know it isn't). Love the rhyming of "sauced" with "lost". That's such a great word, "sauced"!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
  15. Very clever, a joy to read and decipher, wonderful form! Poppy :)

    ReplyDelete
  16. Number 9 made me laugh - I thought the eyebrows had been penciled in oddly!

    ReplyDelete
  17. I've never seen this form before. You did it well.

    =)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Sue. If you are interested in formal verse google shadow poetry. It's a great site, with a section listing a large number of different forms and their requirements.

      Delete
  18. I LOVE the lilt and rhythm of your triolet. I love it.

    ReplyDelete
  19. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  20. You have used the triolet from beautifully in this poem.
    Can I have some of No.6 please?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Doctor, and, lol I suspect Dr. FTSE has no shortage of #6.

      Delete
  21. A fine, fine poem. (I see you've chosen my silly line as the top one of your ten, but I think your number ten has it by light years - not that I ever would have dared to use it!!!)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Dave. And, I do enjoy silly. ;-)

      Delete
  22. The labrynth - where hidden dangers lurek - great analogy.

    ReplyDelete
  23. This one needs some music, Mary!

    ReplyDelete
  24. Wonderful triolet, Mary. These aren't easy to write with so many repeating lines but you made it smooth and wonderful. Bravo, Sister!

    ReplyDelete
  25. Nicely done and crafted Mary! Liked the image and line that fit so well, "lost in the labyrinth of your eyes."

    Quite enjoyed this presentation!

    Roger ☺

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Roger - I really appreciate all your encouragement.

      Delete
  26. great poem, i love how you added the photo

    ReplyDelete
  27. oh yes..there are eyes you could certainly fall in and get lost forever..and hers a big and beautifully mysterious enough...

    ReplyDelete
  28. excellent job here, I like the form and the process-- I always appreciate that- lost in the labyrinth in your eyes- what a great line. Thanks

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Fred, I appreciate your comment!

      Delete
  29. Nice triolet--I'm fond of them anyway, but this one catches a mournfulness in the sardonic tone as well--and I do love your attitude-laden replies to this rather over-dramatic shot. ;_)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Joy! I usually have to go through some 'attitude' before I get to something more serious, lol.

      Delete
  30. Number 2 is the story of my life! And Caddoc's! :)

    ReplyDelete
  31. Maybe one day he wont be a hoboe no more

    ReplyDelete
  32. Truly, honestly, I only just read your triolet for this Mag image.....and am amazed how we both saw him in the same light (maybe others did also...I am slowly making my way around to reading as many as I can). Anyway, I simply must follow someone who is this like-minded -- if only on one prompt!

    ReplyDelete
  33. Lydia, thanks! I have been reading your's as well, an just started following you! lol, great minds, eh?

    ReplyDelete