Night time:
urgent squeaking,
naked tail flicks, thrashes,
whisker-twitch, nail-click down the clock -
huge, grey-haired body bullets toward me,
its echo follows close behind.
I tense, then roll over
toward birdsong
morning.
This is a post about a nightmare and its resolution for IGRT. I don't often have nightmares, but being the good little toad that I am, I had a delightfully creepy one last night about rats. I think woke to find that the squeaking was actually the very insistent early birds outside my bedroom window. Oh, and this poem is called a rictameter, marked by the syllable count per line of 2/4/6/8/10/8/6/4/2. Images by: Rat - retrojunk.com, birds - metrolic.com
Ewww... I like rats, as long as they're not carrying bubonic plague and jumping for my throat...LOL
ReplyDeleteThis was quite a dream that fitted the prompt to a 'T' :)
Thanks Daydreamer. Yes, I went very literal with this one.
ReplyDeleteNice sounds to wake up to ~ Enjoyed the poetry form ~
ReplyDeleteHappy weekend ~
Thank you - and same to you!
ReplyDeleteI always look for the meaning in dreams and I wonder if somehow the dreams are supposed to give us messages...lovely write, Mary.
ReplyDeleteI love the contrast, Mary!!! You caught the grim of such a fearful dream and replaced it so readily with the positive light of day. Well done!!
ReplyDeleteWhat a timely dream! Love the switch from dreaming rats to waking to songbirds.
ReplyDeleteYes, so happy you ended with the charm of songbirds. I have dealt with rats and snakes lately..eeeewwww
ReplyDeletehttp://ellasedge.blogspot.com/2012/06/hare-way-to-stars.html
Nicely done~
Definitely a good description of the rats running down the clock! Quite creepy. I had not heard of the form and like the shape it created. Excellent.
ReplyDeleteDefinitely better to have it be birds than rats! I did enjoy the form that you wrote in, and am pleased that you had such a timely nightmare to share with this prompt!
ReplyDeleteYes, this one was quite literal, and timed just right for your prompt!
DeleteI am impressed by the way you shaped your poem, and love "and then roll over toward birdsong morning". That phrase so much catches the hope for a new day.
ReplyDeleteThank you Victoria!
DeleteKiller birds or killer rats
ReplyDeleteEither can be taken care of by cats..haha
Hahaha - yes, cats rule!
DeleteYour form allows the images of fear to gain in intensity before easing out again with your resolution. I can't be very nice to dream of rats.
ReplyDeleteThank you Kerry. And, I think what may have started the whole thing was a couple nights before I heard a bat squeaking in the house!
DeleteI like your choice of the rictameter, and the way you used it. Excellent write, Mary. It made me think of a bird or birds here making sounds like a lost cat. I'm always getting up to rescue the nonexistent cat. And that's when I'm awake.
ReplyDeleteK
Haha - I believe it Kay, they can be tricky.
Deletewell written...interesting meter too
ReplyDeleteThank you Ashok!
DeleteI'm so old this has me thinking: Her Windsong stays on my mind...ack...
ReplyDeleteThanks for that creepy rat ;o.(smile)
Hahaha - I'm that old too! And yeah, have fun with the rat...I know I did, lol.
DeleteMary Bach...
ReplyDeleteThanks for dropping by with an imprompto 55 of sorts.
Yeah, I'm itching to get back for some Friday Fun.
Loved your 55?...:-)
I'll let you know when I'm coming back, but it will be real soon!!
Thanks for playing, and have a Kick Ass Week-End
Glad to hear you're feeling better. I don't mean to rush you, just thought you might like to know we're thinking about you. :o)
DeleteRats..I don't like them at all..but love the birdsong morning...Lovely piece!
ReplyDeleteThanks Susie, I actually had a pet rat in college for awhile. He was pretty sweet, but the rats of nightmares are completely different!
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ReplyDeleteewwww RATS! I HATES rats. Great poem though. Well done.
ReplyDeleteIt's a cracking little poem - and looks fairly hard to craft, so well done!
ReplyDeleteActually, Mary, it's the little early birds I could throttle! I've a few adamant sparrows that like to have a party at 3.45am on my bedroom window sills for some reason. My hubby says I'm a summer stick-in-the-mud whereas I simply refer to myself as a year-round-hibernator.......given half a chance...LoL
Oh, me too Helena! I'm right there with you on that! And thanks, it's not really so hard...give it a try.
ReplyDeleteI've been having lots of strange unwanted dreams this last week because I was sick. They involved not rats but ex girlfriends and old lifestyles I don't care to return to. Nice poem, I probably won't write one about mine.
ReplyDeleteOh, you've got a whole different level of nightmare there Elliot. Hope you feeling better! And thanks for reading and commenting!
ReplyDeleteThat's putting a ratty situation to good use. Clever poem!
ReplyDeleteHeheh - thanks Patti!
ReplyDeleteI love "birdsong morning"! I wasn't sure I was going to read this, but I'm glad I did.
ReplyDeleteK