Sunday, September 16, 2012

Venus


     Image: Venus and the Sailor by Salvador Dali

Morning star, cloudy seductress
sailing across heaven,
you begin at the end
with a counter-clockwise pirouette.

Smelling of
wind and waves and earth,
pearl eyed, ocean-bred,
born of sea-foam,
you shimmer with life.

Sister, lover, mother
swallow me whole
and let me melt in your belly.


The prompt for this piece can be found at The Mag where creative expression is shared and encouraged.

43 comments:

  1. oh i absolutely love the middle stanza....the scent she carries...and the descriptors....just lovely mary....also love the swallow me whole let me melt in your belly...

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  2. Very nice visuals evoked with your words.

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  3. "Pearl eyed" made me think of death and renewal. That second stanza is a feast for the senses. I'm still dancing ;-)

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  4. Oh yes...this is gorgeous...I want to melt too...

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    1. Thank you Tess; I do enjoy these prompts!

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  5. I too really enjoyed the middle stanza, especially the shimmer.

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  6. Maybe we all want to be there, melting with love.
    Clever too, the morning star in a pirouette beginning at the end, just lovely expression.

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    1. Thanks Stafford. I did the pirouette beginning at the end because of Venus rotating the opposite direction as Earth.

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  7. Melt away
    With life on display
    Surrouned for warmth and comfort too
    Wise words from you

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    1. Thank you Pat! Good to see you at my flat :o)

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  8. Love this, Mary... that second stanza especially.

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    1. Thank you Laurie, I was afraid that was a bit over the top. Glad to hear you didn't think so.

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  9. I like the imagery throughout. And I like how your commas force pauses when you read the poem aloud and so help the rhythm by almost becoming syllables themselves. Unpuncters should note.

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    1. Thank you Doctor. I may be unpunctual, but never an unpunctuater!

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  10. "Swallow me whole and let me melt in your belly" What a beautiful line! Motherhood and the morningstar - a good comparison!

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  11. Thanks Kelly - glad to 'see' you here!

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  12. I love the images that pop into my head as I read this! I read it twice just so I could see them again.

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  13. Love how you concentrated on Venus ... and Venus.

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  14. "A counter-clockwise pirouette." That's what I call Ballin' the Jack. :-)

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  15. A delight for the tongue to wrap itself around the spoken words - thank you!

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  16. A beautiful poem, Mary. Such lovely imagery!

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  17. Oh wow, this is just lush.
    Gorgeous poem.

    =)

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  18. Thank you so much each and every one. I got behind on my replies here, but I have read and commented on all your blogs. Cheers!

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  19. Sister, lover, mother

    Very interesting... And I too adore the middle stanza.

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  20. Smelling of wind and waves and earth...wonderful description...I love the ending.

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  21. That last stanza..! Ah, the prayer of us all!

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  22. Does she swallow us whole at the end of the day , when she is the Evenstar , Galadriel ?. A light in dark places. Speaking of which , well done with your bravely joining the "Kony 2012" campaign in Uganda, or was it Ghana ?, great your back safe, and i bet theres a poem or three on the way !, cheerio .

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  23. Delicious - and I love the counter-clockwise pirouette. Clever.

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  24. So beautiful! Not only in the sky, but rising from the sea...a true Goddess..all art takes note!

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  25. And then I think he will drink some Canadian Club & she will smoke some Chesterfields. ~Mary

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  26. Thank you all; I appreciate you kind words. :o)

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