Sunday, July 28, 2013

Your Lot

Come
again
to the well.
Take what you need
but go with nothing
except your water jar
and a dipper of kisses,
spilled out, as you start your journey.
Above all, don’t hazard a look back -
you may share the fate of Edith, and me…



This form is an etheree, an unrhymed syllable counting form with the following number of syllables per line: 1/2/3/4/5/6/7/8/9/10.  Joy has challenged us to use this form over in the Imaginary Garden.
I'm also linking to dVerse where Karin has asked us to write about water in some form or other.  

45 comments:

  1. ha. nice word play in the title...so lots wife was edith...then def dont look back...the salt will just make you more thirsty....smiles.

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    1. Yea, I had to look it up. And thanks Brian.

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  2. Lisa and I share the same sentiment ... this is beautiful.

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    1. Helen, thank you so much, and thanks for visiting so regularly!

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  3. Very nice, Mary...I really love the phrasing, "don’t hazard a look back" unique and means business...well done!

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    1. Thank you Hannah, after all, looking back can be dangerous!

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  4. very clever, the title thrown in as you did - but even without that, I would have thought of him and of her... I like this a lot ;)

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    1. Lol, thanks! I wasn't sure if most folks would get it or not. I actually had to google her name myself.

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  5. I'll comment later. Right now I am putting my shoes back on after counting syllables all afternoon in order to write for this!

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  6. Yeah keeping movin on, no looking back as who know what was dropped in that big litterbox

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    1. Hahaha - now why didn't I think of that?

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  7. oh, this is beautifully crafted... loved the dipper of kisses... wonderful image.
    ~Miriam

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  8. Hey Love I still can't find your comment that said that is really good advice Love ya anyway your friend

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    1. Oh, I wonder where that went...and I wonder if I can remember what I said! O.o

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  9. "A dipper of kisses spilled out" -- quite a lovely line, and sentiment as well. A delight to read ~peace, Jason

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  10. Love the form and message as one starts the journey ~ It may be all we need ~

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  11. strong writing. I slid into this piece with those first smooth three lines and the rest was quite satisfying.

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  12. Ooo, Mary. I love that opening--Come again to the well--just falls perfectly. It's easy to mess up the beginning, but that is perfect. And I love the image of kisses spilling out as someone leaves...the other side of a journey, which is away from as well as to somewhere...so glad you decided to give it a try--you aced it. And I hope your toes are in better shape than Shay's--sounds like she gave them a workout. ;_)

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    1. Thanks Joy. My muse and I have called a temporary truce, lol. And whatever happened to Shay's toes it's totally worth it - her's is great!

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  13. Lovely work on the form and message of starting a journey ~ Water jar and dipper of kisses may be all that we need ~

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  14. Well done with the form - so hard to not look back, harder still not to regret! Thanks. K. (http://Manicddaily.wordpress.com)

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    1. Oh you've got that right! Thanks. :o)

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  15. Very enjoyable and smooth.

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  16. i never realized that her name was edith...cool...and yeah...better don't look back...cool take mary

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    1. Thank you Claudia, glad you liked it. I had to look up her name too...I think women's names are too often 'forgotten'. :o)

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  17. Wow, marvelous piece..Love every word of it!

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  18. First time reader Other Mary
    A superb etheree
    dipper kisses - gives me tingles down my spine on each read.

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    1. Thank you so much. I appreciate the visit, and hope you come back!

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  19. There is something quintessentially feminine about drawing water from a well! You have captured that perfectly. Sublime.

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