Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Building

I’m a traveler
but I do not travel light.
I bring many bags
filled with heavy bricks I use
to build a circumscribed wall.

You unpack your bags
and set the bricks between us.
Eyes meet, and I place
 my hand on yours.  Together,
from the wall, we build a path.


This is for the  dVerse open link night. Click on the link and check out some of the many offerings there.  This poetry form is called a somonka.  It is comprised of two tankas ( 5/7/5/7/7 syllables per line)   written as love letters–each tanka from one of two lovers.  It’s the poetic prompt from yesterday for the November PAD (poen a day) at Writer's Digest Poetic Asides.  And I'm linking it to day so, yes, once again I’m fashionably late.  
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20 comments:

  1. CloudiaNovember 5, 2013 at 6:23 PM

    From the wall a path! a bridge! A shared endeavor!

    ALOHA from Honolulu
    Comfort Spiral
    =^..^= <3
    > < } } ( ° >
    > < 3 3 3 ( ' >

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  2. AnonymousNovember 5, 2013 at 6:28 PM

    I thought this was concise, to the point and well written. A good read, Other Mary. >KB

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  3. AnonymousNovember 5, 2013 at 6:44 PM

    well penned, Mary ~

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  4. GraceNovember 5, 2013 at 6:49 PM

    Interesting form ~ Good to see you Mary ~

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  5. MaryNovember 5, 2013 at 7:12 PM

    This is beautiful really....building a path from a wall....I like this concept a lot.

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  6. ayalaNovember 5, 2013 at 7:47 PM

    Nicely done, Mary :)

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  7. Pat HattNovember 5, 2013 at 7:55 PM

    I pack light, but I build a path

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  8. HisFireFlyNovember 5, 2013 at 7:58 PM

    building paths instead of walls, yes, this!

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  9. AnonymousNovember 5, 2013 at 8:00 PM

    enjoyed this... paths always lead to new places :)

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  10. Brian MillerNovember 5, 2013 at 8:31 PM

    nice. we are all about building our walls...a path though is much better you know...a way we can walk together....

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  11. Kate SoloNovember 5, 2013 at 8:34 PM

    Aww! This is really sweet! Paths are good, for sure! :-)

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  12. TruedessaNovember 5, 2013 at 9:29 PM

    I like the image of building paths instead of walls..there are enough
    walls in life some we need to tear down...interesting poem..

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  13. colleenNovember 5, 2013 at 9:38 PM

    Bricks are so concrete. Event the poem seems constructed step by step.

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  14. ClaudiaNovember 5, 2013 at 11:39 PM

    building a path from the wall is a good thing..... and yeah... i think most of us have piled up a lot of bricks along the way..

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  15. Yvonne OsborneNovember 6, 2013 at 6:09 AM

    I love your opening here. One couldn't stop reading.

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  16. AnonymousNovember 6, 2013 at 1:39 PM

    Nice somonka - moving from walls/barriers to finding a path together is such a lovely idea.

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  17. brudbergNovember 6, 2013 at 1:53 PM

    To travel with hugs--- love the thought and I love the form..

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  18. Other MaryNovember 6, 2013 at 2:33 PM

    Cheers everyone! Thank you for reading and commenting on my somoka; it's the first I've tried. While I didn't answer everyone here I have been to all your blogs and read your lovely words. Happy writing!

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  19. HeidiNovember 7, 2013 at 2:16 AM

    I always learn something new when I visit here, Mary. I have a new form for my poetry notebook! I loved your somonka. It seems like a song for a love that is still rather new, but deep. Lovely.

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  20. Dorianna Ric (paintswithwords)November 7, 2013 at 8:39 AM

    'together from the wall we build a path',,,lovely line, nice poetry

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