Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Building

I’m a traveler
but I do not travel light.
I bring many bags
filled with heavy bricks I use
to build a circumscribed wall.

You unpack your bags
and set the bricks between us.
Eyes meet, and I place
 my hand on yours.  Together,
from the wall, we build a path.


This is for the  dVerse open link night. Click on the link and check out some of the many offerings there.  This poetry form is called a somonka.  It is comprised of two tankas ( 5/7/5/7/7 syllables per line)   written as love letters–each tanka from one of two lovers.  It’s the poetic prompt from yesterday for the November PAD (poen a day) at Writer's Digest Poetic Asides.  And I'm linking it to day so, yes, once again I’m fashionably late.  

20 comments:

  1. From the wall a path! a bridge! A shared endeavor!

    ALOHA from Honolulu
    Comfort Spiral
    =^..^= <3
    > < } } ( ° >
    > < 3 3 3 ( ' >

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  2. I thought this was concise, to the point and well written. A good read, Other Mary. >KB

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  3. Interesting form ~ Good to see you Mary ~

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  4. This is beautiful really....building a path from a wall....I like this concept a lot.

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  5. I pack light, but I build a path

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  6. building paths instead of walls, yes, this!

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  7. enjoyed this... paths always lead to new places :)

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  8. nice. we are all about building our walls...a path though is much better you know...a way we can walk together....

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  9. Aww! This is really sweet! Paths are good, for sure! :-)

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  10. I like the image of building paths instead of walls..there are enough
    walls in life some we need to tear down...interesting poem..

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  11. Bricks are so concrete. Event the poem seems constructed step by step.

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  12. building a path from the wall is a good thing..... and yeah... i think most of us have piled up a lot of bricks along the way..

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  13. I love your opening here. One couldn't stop reading.

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  14. Nice somonka - moving from walls/barriers to finding a path together is such a lovely idea.

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  15. To travel with hugs--- love the thought and I love the form..

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  16. Cheers everyone! Thank you for reading and commenting on my somoka; it's the first I've tried. While I didn't answer everyone here I have been to all your blogs and read your lovely words. Happy writing!

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  17. I always learn something new when I visit here, Mary. I have a new form for my poetry notebook! I loved your somonka. It seems like a song for a love that is still rather new, but deep. Lovely.

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  18. 'together from the wall we build a path',,,lovely line, nice poetry

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