Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Mettle Test

Under
the relentless
beauty of the sun I
stutter-step along the fault line,
raw and humming with possibility.
Here my tensile strength is tested
as the ‘if’ consumes me
before I go
under

This is for One Shot Wednesday at One Stop Poetry. Check it out by clicking the title.
Posted by at
Labels: , , ,

21 comments:

  1. Brian MillerJune 14, 2011 at 5:43 PM

    got to be careful of those if's. they will ruin you every time, esp when you dance the fault line...

    ReplyDelete
  2. Other MaryJune 14, 2011 at 6:29 PM

    Hey Brian - Thanks for being such an attentive reader!

    ReplyDelete
  3. WynneJune 14, 2011 at 7:53 PM

    I like it, "stutter-step," very descriptive,
    and love the shape!

    ReplyDelete
  4. hedgewitchJune 14, 2011 at 7:55 PM

    This is a fine clean write, Mary. Rictameter is harder than it looks, and this one is superb. It would work as a poem without any knowledge of the underlying form, and with lines like the final three, especially.

    Other Mary--that's hilarious. Don't blame you though, I know you have a common name. How come you haven't come up with something wild and crazy( like, say, hedgewitch ;_) )

    ReplyDelete
  5. AnonymousJune 14, 2011 at 8:04 PM

    "raw and humming with possibility" love it!

    ReplyDelete
  6. G-ManJune 14, 2011 at 8:11 PM

    No 'If's...Ands...or But's....!!!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Pat HattJune 14, 2011 at 8:57 PM

    Sometimes those if's
    Can be gifts
    And those buts
    Can turn into something sniffed by mutts
    The fine line can change on a dime
    Look I came back for a third time..lol

    ReplyDelete
  8. UnknownJune 14, 2011 at 10:24 PM

    Love the construction and the message. I think, however, that anyone humming with that sort of possibility will not fall victim to the ifs.

    http://www.kimnelsonwrites.com/2011/06/14/letting-go/

    ReplyDelete
  9. KavitaJune 15, 2011 at 1:38 AM

    WOWWW!!! Ultimate intensity and determination conveyed in this one, Mary!! Excellent!!

    ReplyDelete
  10. John (@bookdreamer)June 15, 2011 at 3:16 AM

    Clever use of the form

    ReplyDelete
  11. UnknownJune 15, 2011 at 7:08 AM

    Very nice. Enjoyed the words and how those words elicit a response of its own, as it answers through form. The idea of stutter-stepping is something I use a lot in my journal writing, in fact, before I chose poetical psyche for my blog, it originally was going to be stutter-step. Thanks:)

    ReplyDelete
  12. JinksyJune 15, 2011 at 8:23 AM

    Tensile strength...useful...

    ReplyDelete
  13. Other MaryJune 15, 2011 at 11:57 AM

    Thanks everyone. And thanks to Beth Winter and several others at FPC for help with editing.

    ReplyDelete
  14. ClaudiaJune 15, 2011 at 1:34 PM

    raw and humming with possibility...this speaks to me..much in there..and the if's are some of the most dangerous letters around...beware of them...good write mary

    ReplyDelete
  15. ayalaJune 15, 2011 at 5:52 PM

    Nice one shot !

    ReplyDelete
  16. UnknownJune 15, 2011 at 10:44 PM

    This is awesome, I love the descriptive lines & the imagrey they create:-)

    ReplyDelete
  17. Other MaryJune 16, 2011 at 7:36 AM

    Ayala & Upiinthecosmos - thanks! Glad you stopped by!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Luke PraterJune 16, 2011 at 5:33 PM

    still love it.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Other MaryJune 16, 2011 at 6:26 PM

    Thanks bro :-)

    ReplyDelete
  20. Randy BehaviorJune 16, 2011 at 10:19 PM

    Damn those ifs!

    ReplyDelete
  21. Other MaryJune 19, 2011 at 5:55 PM

    Heheh - Thanks for stopping by Randy!

    ReplyDelete

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)