Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Mettle Test

Under
the relentless
beauty of the sun I
stutter-step along the fault line,
raw and humming with possibility.
Here my tensile strength is tested
as the ‘if’ consumes me
before I go
under

This is for One Shot Wednesday at One Stop Poetry. Check it out by clicking the title.

22 comments:

  1. got to be careful of those if's. they will ruin you every time, esp when you dance the fault line...

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  2. Hey Brian - Thanks for being such an attentive reader!

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  3. I like it, "stutter-step," very descriptive,
    and love the shape!

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  4. This is a fine clean write, Mary. Rictameter is harder than it looks, and this one is superb. It would work as a poem without any knowledge of the underlying form, and with lines like the final three, especially.

    Other Mary--that's hilarious. Don't blame you though, I know you have a common name. How come you haven't come up with something wild and crazy( like, say, hedgewitch ;_) )

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  5. "raw and humming with possibility" love it!

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  6. No 'If's...Ands...or But's....!!!

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  7. Sometimes those if's
    Can be gifts
    And those buts
    Can turn into something sniffed by mutts
    The fine line can change on a dime
    Look I came back for a third time..lol

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  8. Love the construction and the message. I think, however, that anyone humming with that sort of possibility will not fall victim to the ifs.

    http://www.kimnelsonwrites.com/2011/06/14/letting-go/

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  9. WOWWW!!! Ultimate intensity and determination conveyed in this one, Mary!! Excellent!!

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  10. Very nice. Enjoyed the words and how those words elicit a response of its own, as it answers through form. The idea of stutter-stepping is something I use a lot in my journal writing, in fact, before I chose poetical psyche for my blog, it originally was going to be stutter-step. Thanks:)

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  11. Tensile strength...useful...

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  12. Thanks everyone. And thanks to Beth Winter and several others at FPC for help with editing.

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  13. raw and humming with possibility...this speaks to me..much in there..and the if's are some of the most dangerous letters around...beware of them...good write mary

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  14. This is awesome, I love the descriptive lines & the imagrey they create:-)

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  15. Ayala & Upiinthecosmos - thanks! Glad you stopped by!

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  16. Heheh - Thanks for stopping by Randy!

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