Friday, January 16, 2015

tenWord Winter


    Photo by Mary Bach

Tracking my grief
through winter woods
this all looks familiar

       ~ ~ ~

Time stops
in the winter temple
drifting at the door

       ~ ~ ~

We shiver
in the winter room
while dreaming of green

       ~ ~ ~

As dusk curls
around my shoulders
stars beckon me, "Come!"


These are ten word poems about winter, sort of.  The tenWord from is in response to Victoria's dVerse prompt.  The form itself is from another member, Brian, who (rightly) stated,     "...after ten words no one is listening anyway." The subject of winter is from Fireblossom at Real Garden with Imaginary Toads.  I'm not sure if I quite captured the human emotion she asked for but, oh well!



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36 comments:

  1. Ginny BrannanJanuary 16, 2015 at 10:45 AM

    Absolutely beautiful imagery, Mary! There's something about winter in the northern woodlands, I know I can relate. Lovely.

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  2. Maude LynnJanuary 16, 2015 at 10:59 AM

    I adore that first one.

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  3. Brian MillerJanuary 16, 2015 at 11:00 AM

    the first one is really cool...and to me touches on the cyclical nature of grief...
    ha and spring will be here soon enough...and all its green...smiles.

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  4. Yvonne OsborneJanuary 16, 2015 at 11:53 AM

    I think you've perfectly captured the feeling of winter and grief, especially in the first stanza.

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  5. AnonymousJanuary 16, 2015 at 11:57 AM

    sounds like you are ready for spring, as am I.

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  6. AnonymousJanuary 16, 2015 at 12:20 PM

    Mary, these are stunning and you've really capture a winter atmosphere. The first one struck me and I love the dusk curling around the shoulders.

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  7. UnknownJanuary 16, 2015 at 12:32 PM

    in the winter blues hoping for spring greens... smiles. I love the bold imagery... each says a lot in ten words.

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  8. brudbergJanuary 16, 2015 at 12:54 PM

    They are each not only a scenery but also give a wonderful metaphor of life itself... wonderful

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  9. hedgewitchJanuary 16, 2015 at 12:59 PM

    These are elegant and evocative, Mary--especially like the first one--those footprints of grief so plain in the snow...also, smiling at the truth of 'after ten words no one listens anyway,' though I think some do, truly so many don't.

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  10. Pat HattJanuary 16, 2015 at 1:02 PM

    wish the green would come sooner rather than later

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  11. Kathy ReedJanuary 16, 2015 at 1:25 PM

    These are all lovely, but the first two touched me in particular. Winter can be so long.

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  12. Debi SwimJanuary 16, 2015 at 1:35 PM

    These are all so beautiful and touching.

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  13. ClaudiaJanuary 16, 2015 at 1:47 PM

    oh nice... i esp. love the dusk curling round the shoulders..

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  14. Glenn ButtkusJanuary 16, 2015 at 1:47 PM

    Wow, ten words seem to be all you need, & as in many other cases, each stanza could stand alone, like a chain of haiku. I like the second stanza a lot.

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  15. FireblossomJanuary 16, 2015 at 1:55 PM

    No one is listening anyway? Not if they're the right words. Thanks so much for being part of my challenge, Mary. I think you did just fine!

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  16. MaryJanuary 16, 2015 at 2:58 PM

    Very nice TenWord poems, Mary. Indeed, you have given a real picture of the chill that is in winter. My favorite is the one about shivering in a room while dreaming of green. I do that all the time. Smiles.

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  17. GailJanuary 16, 2015 at 3:22 PM

    These are great. I have not done my ten.

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  18. ScarletJanuary 16, 2015 at 4:17 PM

    The first is very emotional, I admire that ~ Can't wait for the greening to come ~

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  19. Rosemary Nissen-WadeJanuary 16, 2015 at 4:26 PM

    These are lovely, Mary.

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  20. JimJanuary 16, 2015 at 4:48 PM

    I like these, Mary. As we progress, things show have hope. Really hopeful with the last two.
    Ten word saying sort of works. We know the situation, we just don't know either the why or the outcome. I tried it with mine, same thing. Brian is on.
    ..

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  21. GabriellaJanuary 16, 2015 at 5:28 PM

    You have expressed a lot through your four poems, Mary. And certainly conveyed emotion. I can feel some sadness and weariness in your lines and through the great imagery.

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  22. TruedessaJanuary 16, 2015 at 5:45 PM

    These were all very lovely, but the last one just captured me in the magic..

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  23. Susie ClevengerJanuary 16, 2015 at 9:04 PM

    I love all these...such few words giving such vivid descriptions

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  24. MargaretJanuary 16, 2015 at 9:11 PM

    I'm juggling between the first and second as favorites - both say so much and thrill me. Wonderfully done.

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  25. AnonymousJanuary 16, 2015 at 10:59 PM

    These are great.

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  26. SuyashJJanuary 17, 2015 at 12:54 AM

    some gorgeous imagery going on here

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  27. SusanJanuary 17, 2015 at 6:04 AM

    The second ten caught in my throat. So it is when that is where we remember our beloved dead.

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  28. WolfsrosebudJanuary 17, 2015 at 7:10 AM

    that last one really stands out to me... all are spot on

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  29. annell4January 17, 2015 at 7:53 AM

    I enjoyed each one! It would be hard to choose a fav!

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  30. MarianJanuary 17, 2015 at 8:52 AM

    nice!

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  31. dsJanuary 17, 2015 at 9:49 AM

    Lovely. Time stops in the winter temple. Yes. Thank you.

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  32. Other MaryJanuary 17, 2015 at 5:09 PM

    Thank you all for reading and commenting. I've visited all of you too. :o)

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  33. kaykualaJanuary 17, 2015 at 7:03 PM

    As dusk curls
    around my shoulders
    stars beckon me, "Come!"

    I like this! There is a finality. It completes the picture! Great lines Mary!

    Hank

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  34. HannahJanuary 18, 2015 at 7:35 PM

    Love the repetition and variation of the pairings with "winter." Nicely captured, Mary!

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  35. LydiaFebruary 3, 2015 at 10:34 PM

    Oh, this captured human emotion all right. In spades! I know and feel the grief and what you describe, and that last line is sheer perfection. This is a treasure.

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