This is my entry for the prompt 'Progress' I feel as though it still needs some work, but at this point I'm not sure what to do with it. So, here it is:
So what exactly is my goal?
I’ll be damned if I know
But I know this, it must be deep
A thing not just for show
No increase earned in bank accounts
Or decrease in my waist -
The shallow realm of status,
Is bogus and misplaced
It’s big and it’s ubiquitous,
A hard thing to define
A quest to be more human
And also more divine
It won’t fit on an ordered list
Not linear, more free-form
A plunge into the darkness
To ride the chaos-storm
To learn what lies beneath the mask
In darkness and in light
To separate and yet connect
Within this sacred rite
So what exactly is my goal?
To laugh and cry and grow
And make peace with the paradox
That I can never know.
To grow is a most noble goal... unless you're talking about blowing your diet. (LOL!)
ReplyDeleteI think you've done an excellent job defining progress. It's certainly not what we were brought up believing it to be.
ReplyDeleteYour poem is great--the pentameter (rhythm??) is terrific! I find that incredibly hard.
I liked it!
You're welcome to stop by!
http://myscatteredstones.blogspot.com/2011/01/sunday-scribblings-248-progress.html
'Making peace' with the confusion is certainly progress..lovely write..Jae
ReplyDeleteEric - Yes, I'm aiming at spiritual and/or intellectual growth - not physical!
ReplyDeleteChrisd - Thank you Chris! I struggled with the rhythm. It's pretty much iambic (that's units of 2 syllables that are unstressed, stressed) The number of iambs varys, lines 1 and 3 in each stanza with 8(octameter) or sometimes 7 (septameter), and lines 2 and 4 have 6 (hexameter). I actually wrote it first like this:
8-So what exactly is my goal?
6-I’ll be damned if I know
8-But I know this, it must be deep
6-A thing not just for show
8-No increase earned in bank accounts
6-Or decrease in my waist -
7-The shallow realm of status,
6-Is bogus and misplaced
8-It’s big and it’s ubiquitous,
6-A hard thing to define
7-A quest to be more human
6-And also more divine
8-It won’t fit on an ordered list
6 or 7-Not linear, more free-form
7-A plunge into the darkness
6-To ride the chaos-storm
8-To learn what lies beneath the mask
6-In darkness and in light
8-To separate and yet connect
6-Within this sacred rite
Sorry, maybe that's more than you wanted to know, but I'm so glad you appreciate it, because I messed around a long time to try and get it to sort-of flow that way.
Thanks Jae - I do have lots of confusion to practice with!
Didn't Dr. Seuss rhyme like that? :)
ReplyDeleteHahaha - not in a box, not with a fox!
ReplyDeletewell done..the last stanza(?) is incredable
ReplyDeleteThank you very much GS!
ReplyDelete