Each
vital
incision
scores another
claim, another pain,
etches what cannot be,
rips me inside out, spilling
austere entrails to be studied,
traced, read to find the most ruthless barb.
Each vital incision scores another.
This poetic form is called The Acrostic Dectina, and is a variation the Dectina Refrain what was created by Marion Friedenthal. The accrostic portion was added by Philip of Poet Freak. It is a 10 letter word with same first and last letters, which makes up the 10 lines of the poem. The syllable count is 1/2/3/4/5/6/7/8/9/ and 10 being the first 10 syllables (or 4 lines) of the acrostic.
Submitted to d'Verse Poets' Pub Open Link Night. To read them all click on the title.
sharp and nasty in a good way. Still think maybe you should capitalise beginning of lines to show the acrostic. Then you could call it something else too
ReplyDeleteWill avoid the 'cutting' references, and just say I thought your choice of words painted quite the picture. I really like the format too, an interesting challenge from a regular acrostic. Thanks for the information on the formatting--I love learning something new. I rather like the subtlety of both upper and lower case letters at the beginning of each line, but admit I am no expert. Really good piece , Mary.
ReplyDeleteThanks Luke - I guess you've noticed titles aren't really my forte, lol. I'll consider the different format, I like the hint that the acrostic word is there too.
ReplyDeleteGinny - Thanks, heheh. I'm not a homicidal maniac, honetly! There are hardly any bodies buried in my back yard!
Wonderful, Mary! Just wonderful :)
ReplyDeleteAida - Thank you so much!
ReplyDeleteA challenge that you conquered well.
ReplyDeleteLooks very challenging, but you handled it really smoothly. That's a difficult word to work from, too. As a poem, it makes me feel exposed and like I need to watch my back--creepy but good.
ReplyDeletenice acrostic without pushing it with caps...the reading of the entrails is intense but a very nice touch...well played...
ReplyDeleteoh it turned out awesome (I saw you working on this at FEPC.) Nicely polished and like I said on fb, I have to try this form - too cool!
ReplyDeleteeverything involving a knife is so HELL YAH with me... poetically speaking of course. ;)
ReplyDeleteI keep thinking of a haruspex "reading" himself - pretty nasty.
ReplyDeleteWow remind me to stay away from you
ReplyDeleteAnd that sharp knife too
Darker yet fun
Really enjoyed this one
..ah, powerful lines that slayest.. and another intriguing form.. adorable versatility!(:
ReplyDelete~Kelvin
That's a puzzle to keep me thinking next time I'm awake at 3 a.m...
ReplyDelete'spilling
ReplyDeleteaustere entrails to be studied,'
My favourite section of an outstanding write, great dynamism and the structure is interesting.
Nice job Mary
Any kind of art is tremendously personal: what this poem brought out of me was the sorrow of depression that strikes who knows where or when, or for how long a period of time. Like waves on the shore, there will be repetition and multiple scars though, as represented so well through your poem.
ReplyDeleteThanks for introducing me to the form...billiant. The poem itself and the image is very effective. Agree with Luke that using Caps would highlight the acrostic nature of the work. Happy that you linked it to dVerse.
ReplyDeletethe first i've ever heard or seen such nice perfect triangle poem, until i read the content!:)
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comments! I haven't checked back here for awhile, as I broke the internet. But it's all better now (almost) so here goes:
ReplyDeleteChristine - thank you!
Hedgewitch - Thanks, not sure why I chose such a 'cutting' word, it did come out pretty 'dark.'
L - Sorry I can't manage your name, lol. Thank you, and glad you could get into the mood of this one.
Mark - Thanks for reading. I was thinking of the chicken entrails too as I got into this. Thought it was a voodoo thing though, did realize where it came from until I looked up haruspex.
Pat - Don't worry, I won't cut your gut! Thanks for reading, glad you liked a little trip to the dark side. lol.
Cad - Don't lose sleep over it! Thanks for the read!
Kelvin - Thank you for reading. I find your verses intriguing too!
Tom - Thanks for stopping by and for your kind comments. If you had a blog I'd read it! Are you out there? Somewhere?
Elizabeth - Oh, what a painful response. Thank you for reading. I'm not always this dark, so I hope you'll come back.
Victoria - thanks for the read, d'Verse looks great and I hope to spend more time there in future.
Oceangirl - Of course you can choose a much nicer word for the poem, as long as it's 10 letters, w/ first and last letters the same. Give it a try!