Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Summer


Above
the Cyclops god
lovely and relentless -
feel her nurturing, scorching
below

Wheat fields
waver, whisper.
Dreaming of bread and beer
they nod their heavy heads towards
the sun

Daylight
loiters too long;
finally cool whispers,
shadows lengthen, deepen into
evening

Cinquain: A five-line stanza of syllabic verse, the successive lines containing two, four, six, eight and two syllables.  This is written for Magpie Tales, a weekly pictoral writing prompt that can be found here:Mag 72
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19 comments:

  1. Ginny BrannanJuly 5, 2011 at 11:49 AM

    Mary, I really love how you have captured this painting, especially like the second stanza:

    Wheat fields
    waver, whisper
    Dreaming of bread and beer
    they nod their heavy heads towards
    the sun

    The picture you have painted with your words truly does justice to van Gogh's art. Just lovely, my friend.

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  2. HelenaJuly 5, 2011 at 2:58 PM

    'Cyclops God'! What a fabulous description of , as you say, our scorching sun. Bravo!!

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  3. Other MaryJuly 5, 2011 at 3:48 PM

    Ginny - Thanks so much!

    Lena - Thank you!!

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  4. UnknownJuly 5, 2011 at 4:11 PM

    That's really impressive! Love the idea of 'Cyclops God' also xxx

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  5. Other MaryJuly 5, 2011 at 4:47 PM

    Thanks Ali!

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  6. Sioux RoslawskiJuly 5, 2011 at 5:22 PM

    "Wheat fields waver, whisper...dream of bread and beer..daylight loiters too long." Wonderful images, wonderful personification.

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  7. Pat HattJuly 5, 2011 at 5:37 PM

    Nice take on the painting
    One must beat the heat or suffer fainting
    Love the use of loiters too
    Nice one Mary ummm Other Mary err ummm you..haha

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  8. Other MaryJuly 5, 2011 at 8:49 PM

    Thank you Sioux, I use personification a lot.

    Pat - I guess it's clear, I like wheat beer ;-)
    Thanks for for taking a squint - your praise is worth a mint. lol

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  9. Isabel DoyleJuly 6, 2011 at 1:42 AM

    I love your wheat fields dreaming of bread and beer - a fine poem and a fine magpie!

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  10. Other MaryJuly 6, 2011 at 8:15 AM

    Isabel- thanks...I must have been hungry when I wrote it. ;-)

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  11. kelvin s.m.July 6, 2011 at 10:15 PM

    ...i believe ‘scorching’ is only a two-syllabic word, thus: ‘scor-ching’ should be counted as 2 and not 3... but never mind… we have different approaches and i respect yours besides it doesn’t matter co’z you managed to pull it nicely... and you did give justice t’wards the end of this piece... never heard nor read of a cinquain before and i think it’s nice and interesting... i’d like to try maybe some other future time... thanks for the read.(:

    ~Kelvin

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  12. AnonymousJuly 7, 2011 at 1:27 AM

    The imagery is lovely, stunning poem

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  13. Other MaryJuly 7, 2011 at 7:47 AM

    Windowlad, you're absolutely right! Thanks!

    Mindlovmisery - Thank you so much.

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  14. Tess KincaidJuly 7, 2011 at 11:42 AM

    I love "dreaming of bread and beer".

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  15. Other MaryJuly 7, 2011 at 12:54 PM

    Thanks Tess...I do like to personify.

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  16. Henry ClemmonsJuly 8, 2011 at 8:08 PM

    Great form, great presentation.
    Always love ur words and sentences/lines
    suck skill and care

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  17. HelenJuly 9, 2011 at 11:00 AM

    What a lovely poetic form .... your Magpie is perfect.

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  18. Ann GrenierJuly 9, 2011 at 3:37 PM

    So lovely and the cinquain is an interesting form that suits the poem well.

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  19. the criticsJuly 19, 2011 at 1:46 PM

    cinquain. . wow its New to me thanks for that . . . and the words just loved it . . summer unfolded right before my eyes i can relate and feel . Lovely

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