Sunday, December 11, 2011

Treading Water


   image by Mostafa Habibi


The boat is there,
just waiting…

Every day,
patterns become rituals become cages;
treading water.

Heat is slowly rising,
but I can’t seem to get in the boat
or raise my arms to the oars.

Treading water;
patterns become rituals become cages,
every day.

Just waiting,
the boat is there...

This was written in response to Magpie Tales where Tess Kincade provides a visual writing prompt each week.  Follow the link to find others' responses.  This can also be found at dVerse Poets Open Link Night where lots of great poetry can be found.  

44 comments:

  1. haha bah after a few 100 years of erosion he'll get free
    Of course by then he may look rather scary

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  2. Groan...as it is with being buried alive in habit and ritual, eh?

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  3. "patterns become rituals become cages". Oh yes. Not all cages are made from steel mesh!

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  4. Sometimes the muck of life gets in the way! I like your interpretation.

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  5. Pat - Yikes! Yes, glad I won't be around to see that...'those are pearls that were his eyes' lol

    Catfish - yes, we can be buried in habit and miss the boat lol

    Stafford - Yes, and the steel mesh cages are not always the most difficult ones to escape from! Thank you.

    Mary - Thanks, yes...life can be mucky!

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  6. The mire of life ~ great philosophical lesson

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  7. "patterns become rituals become cages..." So true. Sometimes the hardest thing is to break out of our self-imposed chains.

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  8. My favourite of yours to date I think, Sister... excellent stuff. Dig the rep and symmetry

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  9. Wonderful Magpie! I'm reminded of dreams I've had, stuck, trying to escape, unable to move. Chilling.

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  10. I agree with Helen. I hate those can't-move dreams. But you've written a wonderful poem here.

    Kay, Alberta, Canada
    An Unfittie’s Guide to Adventurous Travel

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  11. Ladysknight - Thanks, I really liked yours too.

    Laurie - Thank you!

    Lola - Yes, the most difficult cages of all to escape.

    Luke - Thanks brother, and thanks for your help xo

    Helen - thanks - I hate those dreams too!

    Kay - Thank you!

    Manicddaily - Thanks much!

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  12. cages - where most lives are held
    A fine poem Mary!

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  13. I loved this ... as deep as the water he's in.

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  14. I wonder, does he really have the desire to escape?

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  15. Too often...so near and yet so far..this is very good!

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  16. Isabel - So it seems. Thank you.

    Deborah - Thanks, and congratulations!

    Martin - My reference to heat in S3 came from the idea of the frog in water gradually heating, so that it supposedly doesn't notice and never tries to jump out of the pot.

    Cad - Thank you.

    Lyn - Thanks Lyn.

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  17. I'm with all the other commentators who were taken by the line "patterns become rituals become cages." Good Magpie.

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  18. Doc - Thank you, I appreciate your comment.

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  19. I too like the patterns become rituals become cages. And he is definitely caged.

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  20. patterns become rituals become cages every day...wow, so true a line...nice mary...

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  21. "Patterns become rituals become cages..."
    So true, and so well expressed.

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  22. Oh...I'm glad we can all at least see each other from our cages! I guess that's more common than I realized! Thank you Jacqui, Brian and Berowne for your comments.

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  23. I like the repetitive lines...it seems we are stuck on rituals of everyday. nice one ~

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  24. Mary, this is amazing. Love the repetition, it really makes for great depth and emotion. your pace is perfect as well. Really nice pen here! Thank you for the great read!

    Kellie

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  25. patterns become rituals become cages--so very true--with no key to unlock the door---Lovely write!


    Audrey
    @AudreyHowitt

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  26. Aghhhh. This one make me want to throw a rope out and start pulling, the sense of being caught is so strong. The picture totally creeps me out and your poem reinforces that in a more refined sort of way that is somehow even worse. Have I already said Agggghh?? Good stuff, Mary.

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  27. glad you brought this back out for OLN..that you get hedge to groan is a perk..smiles.

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  28. Interesting interpretation Mary. Still pondering whether rituals become cages; some do for sure, others provide stability to our lives. Love the cadence of your repition.

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  29. This is the 1st of the Magpies on this image that draws my attention so thoroughly to the steam. Neat! (And thank you for your comment on a recent poem of mine...it led me to a fix for it!)

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  30. patterns become rituals become cages... this mirrors some of the haunting mood in the picture.. great you repeated this line..gave me shivers

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  31. Nicely written and captures the essence of the image well.

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  32. patterns become rituals become cages,
    every day....Oh, I love this line! Very appropos for me currently.

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  33. Treading water;
    patterns become rituals become cages,

    These two lines impressed me and the repetition did its job well. The poem works beautifully.

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  34. wow, circular poems are hard for me - you did a great job with this one! I really love this stanza: Every day,
    patterns become rituals become cages;
    treading water.

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  35. This feels like those kind of dreams where you just can't get to where you want to be. Excellent poetry.

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  36. Hello Mary!
    Thank you for visiting my post. I like your poem. Repetition is key. Well penned. Hope to hear from you soon!

    Erick Flores

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  37. I too loved "patterns become rituals become cages" -- I want to remember it -- and the refrain "treading water" was just perfect. Nice magpie!

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  38. Thank you all for reading this, and for your comments. I didn't quite keep up, so I won't comment individually here, but have visited each of your blogs and left a note. Again, I appreciate you all so very much.

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