sonnet #2

Ok, here it is. It is finished, but I'm not particularly happy with it. And I have two (or three) alternative endings; not sure which to go with. I'll put them both down, think about it, and eventually choose one...or else make up something totally different. My biggest fear with this one is that it says nothing new, or in a new or different way, and is simply a big puddle of syrup. And I don't just want to create a puddle of pity. Oh well, here goes:

Sonnet #2

I lie awake at night and wonder why
The Earth revolves so slowly and so true,
The stars stay in their places in the sky,
And I know I can always count on you.

We know our fate: to be taxed and to die,
This is for sure, although it might be cruel,
The comfort I took was how you would try
To make me feel just like a chreished jewel.

And that's the way the world had worked for me,
So just imagine how I must have felt,
When you said that you needed to be free:
The stars began to fall, the earth to melt.

So now I lay awake and wonder why
My feelings for you still refuse to die.

Or....... alternate ending:

So now I know the stars and Earth and you
Can waver, wobble, fall and be untrue. (-or, Can waver, wobble, fall without a clue)