She smoothed her skirts of ivory lace
while pondering their recent tryst,
and made sure things were all in place.
Her marble features showed no trace
of all the places he had kissed.
She smoothed her skirts of ivory lace.
His love
was spirited, not base,
some discipline was all he missed;
she’d make sure that was all in place.
Six hours late - she was disgraced -
he stumbled in completely pissed.
She smoothed her skirts of ivory lace.
She saw he was a desperate case
when she reviewed her growing list
to make sure things were all in place.
A glacial smile upon her face,
she gave her bridegroom’s neck a twist,
then smoothed her skirts of ivory lace
and made sure things were all in place.
This Villanelle is for dVerse open link night. Click on the link to see more.
Also, thanks to Christi Moon for help tweaking the meter. Here is the Villanelle form using capitals for the refrains and lowercase letters for the rhymes: A1-b-A2/ a-b-A1/ a-b-A2/ a-b-A1/ a-b-A2/ a-b-A1-A2
Also, thanks to Christi Moon for help tweaking the meter. Here is the Villanelle form using capitals for the refrains and lowercase letters for the rhymes: A1-b-A2/ a-b-A1/ a-b-A2/ a-b-A1/ a-b-A2/ a-b-A1-A2
Image: photo.net
Damn what a meanie indeed
ReplyDeleteAt least hopefully he didn't bleed
Snapping his neck
The cat just wants a cheek peck haha
Well...she had to put things in order, lol.
DeleteAn intriguing and dark piece. Excellent movement of all these verses within the form. A fine poem. I much enjoyed it.
ReplyDeleteThank you Steve, I do love black humor.
DeleteWow, Mary... that was quite an unexpected ending... and I think the vlillanelle is perfect for it!
ReplyDeleteThanks Laurie, lol, all in good fun of course. :o)
DeleteIntriguing and a good write, Mary.
ReplyDeleteThanks Ayala!
DeleteHa ha, Mary. I loved the 'twist' in this poem.....both literally and figuratively! A clever write.
ReplyDeleteAh, hahaha, thanks Mary. lol, glad you liked it.
Deletewhew....broke his neck...dang...wicked ending and well he should have been taking care of his groom so...smiles...intriguing use of the form, i like..
ReplyDelete;-) All in good fun Brian. But...he was a desperate case, lol.
Deletevery cool villanelle mary...and oh what an unexpected closure...
ReplyDeleteThank you Claudia!
DeleteShe was certainly the master of her own domain, gender be damned! And you did it all while following form. Guess you're a master, too!
ReplyDeleteAh, thanks Kim...though I'm not quite so forceful a personality as the bride in the poem (my husband will happily attest to!) :o)
DeleteStrong woman! I liked this. May all men take the hint and make sure things are all in place.
ReplyDeleteThanks Gail - yes, a sobering tale for men, lol. Glad you liked it.
Deletewhat a wonderfully wicked villanelle sister!
ReplyDelete;-) Thanks for your help sis! xo
DeleteHa! Very funny! The form works terrifically well. k.
ReplyDeleteThanks!!
DeleteMurder, Sex -- ah, people are such a disappointment to evolution. Just more of the same.
ReplyDeleteWell written !! Great form.
Meh...we're all wearing our parents' genes... lol, thanks!
DeleteA difficult and complex poetic form, brilliantly executed here. (forgive the pun)
ReplyDelete'Tryst!' Oh what a word? Wish I'd enjoyed a recent tryst, but I'd like a different outcome. ;-D.
Thank you James, and I love a bad pun...the worse the better. lol, and sorry about your recent trystless state
ReplyDeleteOuch! Clever (even the title, great word-play), dark, funny, skillfully formed, this pretty much has it all.
ReplyDeleteThanks Nico!
DeleteWhat a fun villanelle! Loved the "gave his neck a twist".......you managed the rhythm and the form brilliantly. Lovely meter.
ReplyDeleteThank you Sherry :o)
DeleteYou know I loved this one, Mary--I like the presentation here, too--great pic to shadow your message.
ReplyDeleteThanks Joy - you wouldn't believe what I went through finding the pic!
Deletechilling! well done.
ReplyDeleteThank you Lime, just a wee bit dark ;-)
DeleteAh Mary, I commented on your FB tag, but will just say again that this is an excellent villanelle, especially for your first one. And "dark" works ever so well in this format. Nicely penned, my friend!
ReplyDeleteThanks (again) Ginny. :o)
DeleteVery cool vianelle Mary. :) You got everything in it's place!
ReplyDeleteWonderful villanele, Mary. She gave her bridegroom's neck a twist? *eek* This has the surprise factor where it leads in one direction then sucker-punches the reader. Well penned.
ReplyDeleteIt didn't start out that way Beth.... Thanks much. :o)
DeleteHA! LOVE the twist at the end!!!
ReplyDelete♥
Heheh - Thanks!
DeleteOh, surely one of the best things you've ever done. It starts with such delicately expressed eroticism and end in murder. I'm still chortling!
ReplyDeleteThank you Doctor...I value your opinion very much.
Delete