Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Late Groom


She smoothed her skirts of ivory lace
while pondering their recent tryst,
and made sure things were all in place.

Her marble features showed no trace
of all the places he had kissed.
She smoothed her skirts of ivory lace.

 His love was spirited, not base,
some discipline was all he missed;
she’d make sure that was all in place.

Six hours late - she was disgraced -
he stumbled in completely pissed.
She smoothed her skirts of ivory lace.

She saw he was a desperate case
when she reviewed her growing list
to make sure things were all in place.

A glacial smile upon her face,
she gave her bridegroom’s neck a twist,
then smoothed her skirts of ivory lace
and made sure things were all in place.



This Villanelle is for dVerse open link night.  Click on the link to see more.  
Also, thanks to Christi Moon for help tweaking the meter.  Here is the Villanelle form using capitals for the refrains and lowercase letters for the rhymes: A1-b-A2/ a-b-A1/ a-b-A2/ a-b-A1/ a-b-A2/ a-b-A1-A2

Image: photo.net





44 comments:

  1. Damn what a meanie indeed
    At least hopefully he didn't bleed
    Snapping his neck
    The cat just wants a cheek peck haha

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    1. Well...she had to put things in order, lol.

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  2. An intriguing and dark piece. Excellent movement of all these verses within the form. A fine poem. I much enjoyed it.

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    1. Thank you Steve, I do love black humor.

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  3. Wow, Mary... that was quite an unexpected ending... and I think the vlillanelle is perfect for it!

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    1. Thanks Laurie, lol, all in good fun of course. :o)

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  4. Intriguing and a good write, Mary.

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  5. Ha ha, Mary. I loved the 'twist' in this poem.....both literally and figuratively! A clever write.

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    1. Ah, hahaha, thanks Mary. lol, glad you liked it.

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  6. whew....broke his neck...dang...wicked ending and well he should have been taking care of his groom so...smiles...intriguing use of the form, i like..

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    1. ;-) All in good fun Brian. But...he was a desperate case, lol.

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  7. very cool villanelle mary...and oh what an unexpected closure...

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  8. She was certainly the master of her own domain, gender be damned! And you did it all while following form. Guess you're a master, too!

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    1. Ah, thanks Kim...though I'm not quite so forceful a personality as the bride in the poem (my husband will happily attest to!) :o)

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  9. Strong woman! I liked this. May all men take the hint and make sure things are all in place.

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    1. Thanks Gail - yes, a sobering tale for men, lol. Glad you liked it.

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  10. what a wonderfully wicked villanelle sister!

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  11. Ha! Very funny! The form works terrifically well. k.

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  12. Murder, Sex -- ah, people are such a disappointment to evolution. Just more of the same.
    Well written !! Great form.

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    1. Meh...we're all wearing our parents' genes... lol, thanks!

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  13. A difficult and complex poetic form, brilliantly executed here. (forgive the pun)
    'Tryst!' Oh what a word? Wish I'd enjoyed a recent tryst, but I'd like a different outcome. ;-D.

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  14. Thank you James, and I love a bad pun...the worse the better. lol, and sorry about your recent trystless state

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  15. Ouch! Clever (even the title, great word-play), dark, funny, skillfully formed, this pretty much has it all.

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  16. What a fun villanelle! Loved the "gave his neck a twist".......you managed the rhythm and the form brilliantly. Lovely meter.

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  17. You know I loved this one, Mary--I like the presentation here, too--great pic to shadow your message.

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    1. Thanks Joy - you wouldn't believe what I went through finding the pic!

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  18. Replies
    1. Thank you Lime, just a wee bit dark ;-)

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  19. Ah Mary, I commented on your FB tag, but will just say again that this is an excellent villanelle, especially for your first one. And "dark" works ever so well in this format. Nicely penned, my friend!

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  20. Very cool vianelle Mary. :) You got everything in it's place!

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  21. Wonderful villanele, Mary. She gave her bridegroom's neck a twist? *eek* This has the surprise factor where it leads in one direction then sucker-punches the reader. Well penned.

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    1. It didn't start out that way Beth.... Thanks much. :o)

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  22. Oh, surely one of the best things you've ever done. It starts with such delicately expressed eroticism and end in murder. I'm still chortling!

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    1. Thank you Doctor...I value your opinion very much.

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