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A storm is coming
as you pass through the
cave’s gaping mouth.
The center does not hold;
knots loosen, ropes flap and fray.
They wrap around your ankles
like hobbles,
tighten at your throat
like a noose
as you choke on crumbs of bread.
You've lost your way
and the labyrinth becomes
a maze.
These are 55 words for G-man and his FF55.
Mary Bach...
ReplyDeleteWhat a Fun, upbeat post you have here!!
It just shows what a versatile author you are...:-)
I'm not so sure this is just about spelunking
Loved your A Mazing 55
You waited until the bitter end on this one eh?
Thanks for playing , it was worth the wait.
Have a Kick Ass Week End
BTW.....Canasta!!!!
ReplyDeleteThanks Galen, but ...canasta?
DeleteWhat a spooky image. I love the opening line and the crumbs of bread made me think of Hansel and Gretel. I would never make it past the mouth.
ReplyDeleteI really like this piece- yet it ends full of struggle! Caves and storms vortexes are different- Be full of hope Mary and trust the safety of your instincts- Go on until YOU find a place of ease ( even if you leave the writing on a note of struggle/ fear ) OK?
ReplyDeletenice...def has the tension and the struggle...the fear and frustration...def the feeling of helplessness
ReplyDeleteThat maze can be a pain, bring something heavy and burst through the walls.
ReplyDeleteKinda scared me, thinking about getting caught in a maze with only crumbs to eat, hobbled and choked at the same time, then I lit up and laughed at it all. I know, that's crazy. Thanks for the great piece!
ReplyDeleteFantastical job on this! I love the way you use a minimalistic approach to create a very emotional and charged desperation in this scene. My only con crit is that a labyrinth is a maze more or less, which sounds repetitive, but that hardly diminishes from the piece. Thanks for sharing it!
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comments. I'm not responding here to every one because you don't come back here to read the answers,but I do visit each of your blogs and read and enjoy your work.
ReplyDeleteMark - I will respond to you though, in case others have the same quesiton/comment:
From my understanding a labyrinth has only one possibly way to go to the center and back out, so you can't actually get lost, whereas one can actually get hopelessly lost in a maze.