Friday, March 1, 2013

Grimm

     Image from Goodfon.com


A storm is coming
as you pass through the
cave’s gaping mouth.
The center does not hold;
knots loosen, ropes flap and fray.
They wrap around your ankles
like hobbles,
tighten at your throat
like a noose
as you choke on crumbs of bread.
You've lost your way
and the labyrinth becomes
a maze.

These are 55 words for G-man and his FF55.  

10 comments:

  1. Mary Bach...
    What a Fun, upbeat post you have here!!
    It just shows what a versatile author you are...:-)
    I'm not so sure this is just about spelunking
    Loved your A Mazing 55
    You waited until the bitter end on this one eh?
    Thanks for playing , it was worth the wait.
    Have a Kick Ass Week End

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  2. What a spooky image. I love the opening line and the crumbs of bread made me think of Hansel and Gretel. I would never make it past the mouth.

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  3. I really like this piece- yet it ends full of struggle! Caves and storms vortexes are different- Be full of hope Mary and trust the safety of your instincts- Go on until YOU find a place of ease ( even if you leave the writing on a note of struggle/ fear ) OK?

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  4. nice...def has the tension and the struggle...the fear and frustration...def the feeling of helplessness

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  5. That maze can be a pain, bring something heavy and burst through the walls.

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  6. Kinda scared me, thinking about getting caught in a maze with only crumbs to eat, hobbled and choked at the same time, then I lit up and laughed at it all. I know, that's crazy. Thanks for the great piece!

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  7. Fantastical job on this! I love the way you use a minimalistic approach to create a very emotional and charged desperation in this scene. My only con crit is that a labyrinth is a maze more or less, which sounds repetitive, but that hardly diminishes from the piece. Thanks for sharing it!

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  8. Thanks for your comments. I'm not responding here to every one because you don't come back here to read the answers,but I do visit each of your blogs and read and enjoy your work.
    Mark - I will respond to you though, in case others have the same quesiton/comment:
    From my understanding a labyrinth has only one possibly way to go to the center and back out, so you can't actually get lost, whereas one can actually get hopelessly lost in a maze.

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