Over in the Imaginary Garden we were given the
formula to write "The Perfect Love Poem." It is as
follows: x (p + b + c + o), where P = Pattern (meter and rhyme,) B =
Brevity, C = Comparison (describe the love or lover with a
comparison), O = Obstacle (the difficulties inherent in a love
affair), X = Mystery
But I was told there would be no math, so I didn't quite follow the formula. Instead I give you two imperfect love poems:
My first love poem is more like y(p+b+c+o), where y = humor.
Love Poem #1
Your love is like the bite of a tick
unnoticed at first, then making me sick
with fever and chills, aches and pains.
I hate that my heart doesn’t have any brains
when it sees this disease
that brings me to my knees.
If there was an injection
to stop this infection
I could save my heart from your rejection.
but I seem to be a philosophic waxer,
and a crazy, wild-eyed anti-vaxxer.
And my second love poem is sort of x(b+o)
Love Poem #2
You are
the feel of wind
on my face,
the moon’s reflection
in my eyes,
the lens through which
I see the world.
You live
in the hollows of my bones,
in the lining of my skin,
in my dark center,
patient, waiting.
Loved them both. Excellent.
ReplyDeleteGosh, they're both terrific. I adore 'my heart doesn't have any brains', and the profundity of the second piece.
ReplyDeleteOnce we are touched by love...its mark is embedded upon our soul..! Life changes forever and we are never quite the same again :D
ReplyDeleteNice rythem to this mary
ReplyDeletehaha the first one sure was fun, from such ticks I may run
ReplyDeleteI love the contrast between the two poems, Mary...apt likenings. :)
ReplyDeleteThey are both just great, Mary--really well done. Thanks. k.
ReplyDeleteThe first one was just fun to read, the second one lovely. Both well done, my friend!
ReplyDeleteWOW! Enjoyed the first, with a delighted cackle, loved the second, the real love poem!!!!! But the first was hilarious!
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely. Now, when I think of falling in love I'll think of a, ugh, tick. hehehe
DeleteThank You for sharing these
ReplyDeleteALOHA from Honolulu,
ComfortSpiral
=^..^=
Bitter sweet love still our heart sings:)
ReplyDeleteLove both of them...Humor doth make the heart fonder
ReplyDeleteah, i see you tried the formula, quite nice both of them; need some of the crazies really to experience THE LOVE as #1 expressed
ReplyDeletethanks for dropping in to read mine
much love...
clever by two, Ms Mary; humorous in the first, and winsome (hopefully not losesome) in the last ~
ReplyDeleteOh hahaha anti-vaxxer! That made me LOL :)
ReplyDeleteLove both of these and for different reasons.. well done...
ReplyDeleteSee my words at:
gramswisewords.blogspot.com
Hi thanks for writing on my blogpost Bulldozer. Yes , it is sad , but that is sort of what happens to us in life, isn't it?? xx
ReplyDeleteThey look pretty perfect from this angle, Mary. I laughed out loud at the first one.(and I, too, was flummoxed by the formula--no surprise there. ;_) )
ReplyDeleteAin't no cure for love, as the man said.
ReplyDelete