Wednesday, April 22, 2015

The (Im)perfect Love Poem

Over in the Imaginary Garden we were given the formula to write "The Perfect Love Poem."  It is as follows: x (p + b + c + o), where P = Pattern (meter and rhyme,) B = Brevity, C = Comparison (describe the love or lover with a comparison), O = Obstacle (the difficulties inherent in a love affair), X = Mystery

But I was told there would be no math, so I didn't quite follow the formula. Instead I give you two imperfect love poems: 

My first love  poem is more like y(p+b+c+o), where y = humor.


Love Poem #1

Your love is like the bite of a tick
unnoticed at first, then making me sick
with fever and chills, aches and pains.
I hate that my heart doesn’t have any brains
when it sees this disease
that brings me to my knees.
If there was an injection
to stop this infection
I could save my heart from your rejection.
but I seem to be a philosophic waxer,
and a crazy, wild-eyed anti-vaxxer.


And my second love poem is sort of x(b+o)

Love Poem #2

You are 
the feel of wind
on my face,
the moon’s reflection
in my eyes,
the lens through which
I see the world.
You live
in the hollows of my bones,
in the lining of my skin,
in my dark center,
patient, waiting.






20 comments:

  1. Gosh, they're both terrific. I adore 'my heart doesn't have any brains', and the profundity of the second piece.

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  2. Once we are touched by love...its mark is embedded upon our soul..! Life changes forever and we are never quite the same again :D

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  3. haha the first one sure was fun, from such ticks I may run

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  4. I love the contrast between the two poems, Mary...apt likenings. :)

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  5. They are both just great, Mary--really well done. Thanks. k.

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  6. The first one was just fun to read, the second one lovely. Both well done, my friend!

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  7. WOW! Enjoyed the first, with a delighted cackle, loved the second, the real love poem!!!!! But the first was hilarious!

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    Replies
    1. Absolutely. Now, when I think of falling in love I'll think of a, ugh, tick. hehehe

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  8. Thank You for sharing these


    ALOHA from Honolulu,
    ComfortSpiral
    =^..^=

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  9. Bitter sweet love still our heart sings:)

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  10. Love both of them...Humor doth make the heart fonder

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  11. ah, i see you tried the formula, quite nice both of them; need some of the crazies really to experience THE LOVE as #1 expressed

    thanks for dropping in to read mine

    much love...

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  12. clever by two, Ms Mary; humorous in the first, and winsome (hopefully not losesome) in the last ~

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  13. Oh hahaha anti-vaxxer! That made me LOL :)

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  14. Love both of these and for different reasons.. well done...
    See my words at:

    gramswisewords.blogspot.com

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  15. Hi thanks for writing on my blogpost Bulldozer. Yes , it is sad , but that is sort of what happens to us in life, isn't it?? xx

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  16. They look pretty perfect from this angle, Mary. I laughed out loud at the first one.(and I, too, was flummoxed by the formula--no surprise there. ;_) )

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  17. Ain't no cure for love, as the man said.

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