Come Away - Octain,

Ok, I'm trying another new poetic form. This one was invented by Luke Prater from http://lukepraterswordsalad.wordpress.com/2010/12/14/breathe/ The form is called an Octain, and is 8 lines with iambac tetrameter (that's 8 syllables, four units of unstressed, stressed) or trochaic tetrameter (that's 8 syllables, four units of stressed, unstressed per line) and the rhyme scheme is rather intricate:
A
B
B

A
C/C (an internal rhyme)
A

B
C

I used the iambic tetrameter, but..er...with a little lattitude. If you read both, you will notice they are exatly the same except for the placement of two words in the final line. Note what a big change in meaning that little change in typing makes. 

#1
Oh, won’t you come away with me?
Just take my hand and squeeze it tight
We’ll jump a train; we'll ride all night

Your life is locked – I have the key
The paradox is fortune knocks
At times when we are least ready

But in your heart you know it’s right
Oh, won’t you come away with me?

#2
Oh, won’t you come away with me
Just take my hand and squeeze it tight
We’ll jump a train; we'll ride all night

Your life is locked – I have the key
The paradox is fortune knocks
At times when we are least ready

But in your heart you know I’m right
Oh, you won’t come away with me.

Just a final observation: When writing in any very structured format, I feel less in control of what comes out of my pen (or keyboard). Sometimes the poem I end up with surprises me, which can be fun! Thank you Luke.
Also linked to One Stop Poetry just click the title.