Thursday, April 4, 2013

Irregular Apocalypse

In the End Times
there was a den
filled with pinball machines
and short-skirted, Plasticine women,
and the multitudes were
playing and tilting and getting extra balls
and breaking all 12 of The Commandments.

And it came to pass in those days,
that there went out a decree
from Elton John
that coming to the land
was another Wal-Mart
and it would mark the beginning 
of an Irregular Apocalypse.
And the people were sore afraid.
And there was much wailing and gnashing of teeth
and taking of Xanax,
and also some hallucinogens.

And the people had Visions.
In the Visions the people saw a man
seated on the throne with a Book
with seven seals.
And the seals did balance balls on their noses, and
throw the balls to one another
and to the Plasticine women.
Then out of their mouths issued fire and smoke and brimstone,
because they had eaten Mexican food for dinner.

Then the people did behold seven horn players
who did wail on their instruments and
play a mighty dirge.
And Elton John did play his piano and sing.
And he sang unto all the peoples of the Earth:
With all these things that I've done
While everyone's lost, the battle is won.

This is for NaPoWriMo Day #4, from the apocalyse  Southland Tales prompt from IGwRT  and the Ian Banks prompt at NaPoWriMo.  And it's with apologies to The Killers and King James, Elton John and anyone else I may have offended along the way.


  1. Enjoyed this immensely, very clever. Think that God has a sense of humor, after all (S)He created us!! If not I'll be right there beside you fightin' off the flames! :-)

  2. Omg. I was rolling at the seals and the Mexican food. Behold, I was sore afraid! This was priceless. GMTA?

  3. Balancing balls on noses does take some talent though haha

  4. So funny and clever.."and the people were sore afraid" Indeed :-)

  5. I love this, especially "much wailing and gnashing of teeth and taking of Xanax"
    and "a Book with seven seals. And the seals did balance balls on their noses"
    Great fun, Mary.

  6. Wow, I really enjoyed this well penned, a lot of great lines but, had a chuckle over this one Plasticine women.

  7. Hilarious, Mary. Woe unto them who ignore the words of St. Elton, or refuse the sacramental hallucinogens! Glad I'm not the only one who ran in fear from the attack of the plasticine women.

  8. I must echo the comments of those above me, this was a fine comedy! all 12 commandments and elton john! I love how you took the oddball setting and made it your own. Viva la and thanks for participating in my prompt!

  9. Mary, your setting this in Biblical style prose is very effective, and the additions of Elton and all the rest, so great. I didn't "get" the end of days from this video; I concentrated on the poor, unsung backups.

    Masterfully written. Peace, Amy

  10. Too funny! You never let up! Each image resonates with me and flows forward with an internal irregular logic--like the opera TOMMY!

  11. What an excellent parody - the apocryphal writing juxtaposed with 21st century references is just inspired and the second last stanza had me in fits of laughter. The seals are priceless.

  12. This was so hilarious ~ I love the irony of irregular apocalypse, seals Elton John's singing ~

  13. Purely grand fun!!! I echo all before me. :)

  14. Cracking poem and cracking music vid, Ms Bach!