Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Lullaby in a Minor Key


Sing a song of lamentation,
disillusioned lullaby,
sowing seeds of hesitation.  

Sing a song of lamentation,
for a lonely generation
whose dreams are merely single-ply.

Sing a song of lamentation,
disillusioned lullaby.


This form is called a Triolet which is eight lines with a rhyme scheme of ABaAabAB.  The meter is generally iambic tetrameter or pentameter, but I've played a bit fast and loose with this.  This is for day #2 of NaPoWriMo and is linked to dVerse Poets Pub Open Link Night.

21 comments:

  1. Triolets are tough! I wrote one during last year's NaPoWriMo, but it wasn't this graceful. I really like the single-ply dreams.

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  2. very nice...tight rhymes and cadence...it def has a rather sing song feel...well played mary

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  3. I have often felt the lack of lamenting
    you have it here
    well done

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  4. biblical and nursery rhymish all in one

    Where is the Food when mother is not?

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  5. I really had never thought of it before, but indeed a lamentation IS a disillusioned lullaby!

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  6. You rose to April's expectations. Brava!

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  7. This is beautifully written but a little sad. :-)
    ~Imelda

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  8. Sad: may you not hear that lullaby too often

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  9. I enjoy writing in "7s" and "8s". It moves the narrative nicely--and you've done a fine job here.

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  10. Despite the message, the form and language give it a sweetness too, to my ear.

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  11. ah, the lament, what a wonderfully image laden word. I wrote a song called lament years ago, it's like a slow ache. beautiful write.

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  12. This is great Mary! Love this format and you have really done it justice. Especially like the line:
    "...for a lonely generation
    whose dreams are merely single-ply."
    Indeed!!

    Great capture. Well penned.

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  13. Sure can sing along, with your flow that does no wrong

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  14. Trolet is a hard form to write well--because it is so sing-song--here you make that work for you, as it's intended, so the lines catch in the mind. Love it Mary.

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    1. Yeah and Trolet is even harder to write than triolet! ;_)

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    2. Heehee - thanks Joy. And thanks everyone. I'm not answering each of these individually (because I'm madly trying to come up with another poem for NaPoWriMo) but I did (or will shortly) visit your blogs.

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  15. beautifully done Mary... I couldn't help but envision the single knit t-shirts sold in stores for teens these days... supposed to be fashionable, but I suspect it is a way for manufacturers to cut costs... and this is the sad diminishing legacy our children are left with... the distance between the haves and have nots expanding.

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  16. I guess I am taking this very seriously... just something I've noticed lately. sorry to be so heavy:-)

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    Replies
    1. Laura I'm glad this resonated with you. I know exactly what you're talking about.

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  17. Excellent, sis. The triolet isn't easy to craft smoothly yet you succeeded amazingly.

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  18. loving the thought of single-ply dreams...what a great line...

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