Sing a song of lamentation,
disillusioned lullaby,
sowing seeds of hesitation.
Sing a song of lamentation,
for a lonely generation
whose dreams are merely single-ply.
Sing a song of lamentation,
disillusioned lullaby.This form is called a Triolet which is eight lines with a rhyme scheme of ABaAabAB. The meter is generally iambic tetrameter or pentameter, but I've played a bit fast and loose with this. This is for day #2 of NaPoWriMo and is linked to dVerse Poets Pub Open Link Night.
Triolets are tough! I wrote one during last year's NaPoWriMo, but it wasn't this graceful. I really like the single-ply dreams.
ReplyDeletevery nice...tight rhymes and cadence...it def has a rather sing song feel...well played mary
ReplyDeleteI have often felt the lack of lamenting
ReplyDeleteyou have it here
well done
biblical and nursery rhymish all in one
ReplyDeleteWhere is the Food when mother is not?
I really had never thought of it before, but indeed a lamentation IS a disillusioned lullaby!
ReplyDeleteYou rose to April's expectations. Brava!
ReplyDeleteThis is beautifully written but a little sad. :-)
ReplyDelete~Imelda
Sad: may you not hear that lullaby too often
ReplyDeleteI enjoy writing in "7s" and "8s". It moves the narrative nicely--and you've done a fine job here.
ReplyDeleteDespite the message, the form and language give it a sweetness too, to my ear.
ReplyDeleteah, the lament, what a wonderfully image laden word. I wrote a song called lament years ago, it's like a slow ache. beautiful write.
ReplyDeleteThis is great Mary! Love this format and you have really done it justice. Especially like the line:
ReplyDelete"...for a lonely generation
whose dreams are merely single-ply."
Indeed!!
Great capture. Well penned.
Sure can sing along, with your flow that does no wrong
ReplyDeleteTrolet is a hard form to write well--because it is so sing-song--here you make that work for you, as it's intended, so the lines catch in the mind. Love it Mary.
ReplyDeleteYeah and Trolet is even harder to write than triolet! ;_)
DeleteHeehee - thanks Joy. And thanks everyone. I'm not answering each of these individually (because I'm madly trying to come up with another poem for NaPoWriMo) but I did (or will shortly) visit your blogs.
Deletebeautifully done Mary... I couldn't help but envision the single knit t-shirts sold in stores for teens these days... supposed to be fashionable, but I suspect it is a way for manufacturers to cut costs... and this is the sad diminishing legacy our children are left with... the distance between the haves and have nots expanding.
ReplyDeleteI guess I am taking this very seriously... just something I've noticed lately. sorry to be so heavy:-)
ReplyDeleteLaura I'm glad this resonated with you. I know exactly what you're talking about.
DeleteExcellent, sis. The triolet isn't easy to craft smoothly yet you succeeded amazingly.
ReplyDeleteloving the thought of single-ply dreams...what a great line...
ReplyDelete