Wednesday, April 16, 2014

My Irrational Fear

It’s been a long, bleak day.
Winter stays to long,
with its cold and snow.
Tonight, we pack up the babies,
their stroller, their stuff
(so much baby stuff)
into the car,
even though we know
it’s too late already.
We go to the mall
that is warm and full of distractions.
But the babies are too tired,
too fussy,
and the screaming begins.
We ‘stroll’ once around
then give up.
Daddy goes for the car
as I stand at the doors,
with the babies, their stroller, and their stuff
(so much baby stuff)
pushing little fists and feet
into snow suits.
Utterly defeated,
I wait.
The car doesn’t appear.
As I rifle through all the baby stuff
I realize
I never brought MY stuff:
cell phone, money, cards, keys.
Looking out into the dark
I wonder,
what if

My babies are grown now, and my dear husband never drove off and left us.  He never would.  But I can remember many times being in that situation and having that wild, irrational thought pop into my head.  What if he just kept driving...
For PAD and NaPoWriMo day 15.


  1. those can seem like the longest moments...waiting when the kids are fussing....
    ha. i am glad my wife never drove off as well...yes i waited witht he kids
    at times too....smiles....we all need that matter how much we love our kids

  2. We do. It was a totally irrational fear though, fortunately. :o)

  3. Just me, so i can keep driving, but can't get rid of myself, damn lol

  4. I'm so glad your irrational fear never became a reality. Scary poem.
    My youngest brother is in his mid-40s, but on every one of his birthdays I think of the young woman in the same special-care room as Mom the last few weeks of her pregnancy. That young woman had triplets, with an 18-month-old at home, so when someone mentions "babies" plural, I think of her.
    As for driving off, our parents had a business to run, so my young brother stayed with our grandmother during the day. One day, Mom and Dad drove home after work, parked, and turned off the car before Mom realized, "Oh, no, we forgot whatsisname!" Rob was too young to notice, and our grandparents just thought Mom and Dad were working late, but of course it became a family legend.

  5. I'm glad that it was just an irrational fear. You did a wonderful job writing to the point where I felt that fear with mom in the poem.

  6. That would be horrible.

    Have a great day.

  7. This is an excellent portrait of both love and anxiety, Mary. We do become absorbed in the complex, cluttering responsibilities of parenthood, to the exclusion of ourselves sometimes, and when we realize our total dependency, it is indeed terrifying. I was a single mom, so I never had anyone to drive for me that couldn't easily have run off--I experienced that feeling many times, and all I can say is, you got it down.

  8. the feeling of being so tired, and the vulnerability amid the din of a crowd - well penned, Mary ~