Wednesday, April 22, 2015

The (Im)perfect Love Poem

Over in the Imaginary Garden we were given the formula to write "The Perfect Love Poem."  It is as follows: x (p + b + c + o), where P = Pattern (meter and rhyme,) B = Brevity, C = Comparison (describe the love or lover with a comparison), O = Obstacle (the difficulties inherent in a love affair), X = Mystery

But I was told there would be no math, so I didn't quite follow the formula. Instead I give you two imperfect love poems: 

My first love  poem is more like y(p+b+c+o), where y = humor.

Love Poem #1

Your love is like the bite of a tick
unnoticed at first, then making me sick
with fever and chills, aches and pains.
I hate that my heart doesn’t have any brains
when it sees this disease
that brings me to my knees.
If there was an injection
to stop this infection
I could save my heart from your rejection.
but I seem to be a philosophic waxer,
and a crazy, wild-eyed anti-vaxxer.

And my second love poem is sort of x(b+o)

Love Poem #2

You are 
the feel of wind
on my face,
the moon’s reflection
in my eyes,
the lens through which
I see the world.
You live
in the hollows of my bones,
in the lining of my skin,
in my dark center,
patient, waiting.


  1. Gosh, they're both terrific. I adore 'my heart doesn't have any brains', and the profundity of the second piece.

  2. Once we are touched by love...its mark is embedded upon our soul..! Life changes forever and we are never quite the same again :D

  3. haha the first one sure was fun, from such ticks I may run

  4. I love the contrast between the two poems, Mary...apt likenings. :)

  5. They are both just great, Mary--really well done. Thanks. k.

  6. The first one was just fun to read, the second one lovely. Both well done, my friend!

  7. WOW! Enjoyed the first, with a delighted cackle, loved the second, the real love poem!!!!! But the first was hilarious!

    1. Absolutely. Now, when I think of falling in love I'll think of a, ugh, tick. hehehe

  8. Thank You for sharing these

    ALOHA from Honolulu,

  9. Bitter sweet love still our heart sings:)

  10. Love both of them...Humor doth make the heart fonder

  11. ah, i see you tried the formula, quite nice both of them; need some of the crazies really to experience THE LOVE as #1 expressed

    thanks for dropping in to read mine

    much love...

  12. clever by two, Ms Mary; humorous in the first, and winsome (hopefully not losesome) in the last ~

  13. Oh hahaha anti-vaxxer! That made me LOL :)

  14. Love both of these and for different reasons.. well done...
    See my words at:

  15. Hi thanks for writing on my blogpost Bulldozer. Yes , it is sad , but that is sort of what happens to us in life, isn't it?? xx

  16. They look pretty perfect from this angle, Mary. I laughed out loud at the first one.(and I, too, was flummoxed by the formula--no surprise there. ;_) )

  17. Ain't no cure for love, as the man said.